Spectral Fire

I feel so alone, world

 zones out, people around me lose sight and shimmer in the distance, my enemies. How I wish for you to fall.

My enemies, bringing wrath and ruin to my life, always a fight for my corner, always a fight taken alone, whether it be wrestling with inner demons, keeping dark emotions locked inside or arguing with people in the real world.

I took a fall all those years ago, my wings, scorched and smothered in flame, all my innocence, once sweet memory, now a barren wasteland.

Life forever just one fight after another, so tired, exhaustion swells in my bittersweet soul in corrupted harmony.


Patronising me. Oh let me rain down on you like blazing hellfire,no longer am I a feeble child, my abilities and thought are far more advanced than I let on, my naivety is long gone in the wind, all that lies before me is this sparkling black cloud, would you see through it? I will prove to you all that nothing is free or taken for granted in this life and the only person i can truly rely on is myself

my subtle breakdown and crash

I never understand what to think anymore
things trouble me so much. things which shouldn't, but can I really help how I feel, emotions were never a strong point of mine, 

 Feeling as though I am brought to my knees. Engulfed in my blazing inferno, nobody can come close to understanding what goes through my mind, so painful, feeling weakened, shrouded in a black smokey cloak.
 Such effort keeping up these fronts of mine,
 although i believe its easier to wear my smile like a uniform tie than explain the turmoil and emotions which rage behind my solemn eyes, love and life were never meant to mix, well not for the majority anyways, I often felt trouble coming to terms with myself and I still do, how can someone else try to understand me when I can't even understand myself,
 after all i should understand myself but alas I fail to, 

Forever lost in my own realm of delusion and living on prayers. All I have as of late is my music to keep me sane, I appear social as a person but deep down i am on an lonely island in solitude isolated from the outside world, slowly crumbling like ancient dust exposed to the elements over time. 
Time passes me in slow motion, things move slowly as i feel zoned out from reality in my own world. Deep desire to carve a path of destruction in the search and pursuit of finding my purpose in life.